Hell
by JohnPaulGeorgeandRingo
Summary: With hilarity, fights, sex and a multitude of problems, it just has to be a normal day in Rogan paradise. What else would you expect from Logan and Marie?


_**I know that I've been away for a while, well maybe a bit longer then a while but I return baring a gift. Hopefully you'll all take this fic as a huge apology for abandoning my stories for months ;) This is my attempt of a Rogan one-shot for the 3rd challenge. (Yes I'm entering my own challenge!) It's quite long, actually its extremely long. I can't actually believe how much I've written but I needed to ramble. I've really missed the characters and hopefully they've missed me to! LOL.**_

_**These are the prompts that I have to include:**_

_**A pair of silver, cubic zirconia hoop earrings (I can't afford white gold or diamonds)**_

_**A drill (Courtesy of the bloody loud builders creating a speed bump outside my house. Its a work of art, you should see it)**_

_**Sausages ( I happen to like them in a sandwich with tomato sauce)**_

_**Disgusting, Awful, Nauseating, Oh my God... I think I'm going to cry. (I'm being truthful, painfully so)**_

_**A woollen jumper (Not as crap as it sounds. I bought it from New Look, but it sheds a hell of a lot and I end up having pieces of fluff stuck to my lip gloss)**_

_**This story is rated as an M due to the sexual nature, language and situations. That and my dirty, dirty, dirty mind. I blame my correspondence with the people on here! (You know who you are.)**_

_**

* * *

**_

**Hell**

They had just pulled into a quaint, beautiful and deathly quiet cove, miles away from the hustle and bustle of New York. Surrounded by sand dunes, rolling hills, and crashing waves the Rogue and her Wolverine were about to embark on their most daring mission yet: The first vacation in the life of a newly wedded couple, in other words... THE HONEYMOON.

0o0o0o0o0 0o0o0o0o0

Nothing ever bothered Marie, she wasn't high maintenance and didn't have a prickly personality like her husband. It was a pleasure to spend time with her and she was calm, so very calm. She never worried, oh no not Marie. Why would she worry? Worrying was for people who... people who were... Worrying was for those individuals who had just married a clawed cantankerous mutant, had left their baby in the care of Jubilation Lee and were about to throw caution to the wind.

"Logan?" Marie sighed, winding down the truck window and inhaling the sea air. "Do you think Digby will be okay?" She didn't like to think of her baby boy crying for his Mama, day after day and night after night.

Her husband groaned at her question, and no it wasn't the type of groan that would have made Mary Whitehouse turn in her grave with horror and disgust. "Marie, the spark plug ain't as dumb as she looks." And coming from Logan, that would have been considered a compliment, especially where the subject of Jubilee was concerned.

"But what if he misses me? It's the first time he's been away from his mama."

A rumble of distant thunder, and the pitter patter of light rain mixed in with a string of curses was like music to her ears. It appeared as though they had brought the weather with them. Rogue was a fan of rain, she loved the rain, it was mother natures shower.

"He's a dog darlin'." Wolverine replied flatly, plagued with boredom as he flipped a switch and the windscreen wipers squeaked into action.

Watching the waves grow in ferocity, and the pearly white clouds darken at an alarming rate, she turned to her husband and poked him sharply in the ribs. "Digby's not just a dog! He's my baby, and as a responsible mother I have every right to worry."

Snorting in amusement he kissed his wife on the cheek, and slowly draped his arm around her shoulders. "Are you gonna be like this the entire time?" He asked, pulling Marie gently towards him and resting his hand on her hip.

Snuggling against his chest and tracing her finger over his decorative belt buckle, she grinned mischievously. "Yes, and there's nothing you can do about it."

As the wind howled, the rain poured, the thunder and lightening joined its brothers and sisters in their daily assault of the deserted cove, Logan's hands did the talking.

"Logan! We can't! The boat will be here any minute." Rogue yelped, fighting half-heartedly to free herself from his loving hands.

"You sayin' that you don't like this?" He teased, his hand down her pants, while he flexed his fingers with a ravenous glint in his eye.

Oh, she most definitely liked it. She loved it more then the rain, more then her wedding day, more then an ice cold brew on a warm day and even more then her precious Digby. She was not only seeing stars as her Logan unzipped his Levi's, ripped off her pants and deposited his Mr. Happy into her Southern Belle; but shooting stars, asteroids, lone planets, black holes and satellites... Satellites sculptured into the shapes of men's parts.

The sensations tore through her as they rocked back and forth on the drivers seat, her perfectly manicured nails dug their way into her husbands back and his heavy breathing fell into sync with hers. They were as one, the storm raged around them and Marie couldn't stop herself from crying out in sheer pleasure."DIGBY!"

0o0o0o0o0 0o0o0o0o0

After their marriage ceremony in the grounds of the mansion, Jubilee had cornered the happy couple with an unexpected surprise. The surprise came in the shape of a white envelope from the Professor and Miss Jubilation Lee. It was an all expense paid trip to an island off the east coast. Fourteen days of pampering, peace and quiet courtesy of Charles Xavier's credit card.

Marie had been delighted, her first trip away with Logan and her mind had been littered with thoughts of hiking, sex, scuba diving, sex, sun bathing, sex, horse riding and sex.

It was the first day of their honeymoon and the romance was dead. She had killed it, she was a cold hearted murderess and she deserved to suffer. Which is why Marie had been overcome by the worst sea sickness she had ever experienced, not that she had spent a lot of time sailing the seven seas.

The sea was rougher then a curry enthusiasts toilet habits, and her sea legs had all but abandoned her. "I want to go home." She whined, clinging to the side of the fisherman's boat. "I want to go home, where its dry and safe, and my hair doesn't smell like fish!"

"No, you'll smell like dog instead." Logan snapped from behind her, his hand clutched tightly onto her sodden woollen jumper, just in case she fell overboard.

"Will you let go of me!"

"You can't swim!"

"I know I can't swim, but I'm not about to throw myself into the fucking sea!" Rogue shouted over the relentless rain. She had now gotten over her fascination with _Mother Natures shower, _and was silently praying for a scorching heatwave. "Mother nature is a bitch."

"Huh!?" He yelled over the noise, struggling to hear his wife's angry words.

"I said if I hated you that much, I'd divorce your sorry ass and take every penny you have! I wouldn't jump into the sea and... Oh, I hate the fucking sea." She groaned, her stomach struggling to keep the last of her hastily eaten breakfast in check.

"There anythin' else you hate?" Wolverine demanded, gazing out into the choppy waters.

"Yes! Your damn company!" As soon as those words left her lips she felt a pang of remorse, it was either that or the vomit that was rapidly travelling to greet her. "No, not again."

"I've spotted land! We'll be there in ten minutes!" The boats captain announced from the cabin, his voice booming over the sound of Marie expelling the last of her buttermilk pancakes from her body.

"The sooner the better, bub." Logan grunted, soaked through to the skin and eyeing the back of his cursing wife's head. "The sooner the better."

0o0o0o0o0 0o0o0o0o0

"I hope you didn't tip the asshole." Rogue said grimly, waving as the boat disappeared out of her line of vision. "I've never met such a shit driver, he's even worse then you Logan."

"There's nothin' wrong with my drivin'." He fumed, glowering at the steep steps that they had to climb with all their bags. "You're just pissed cause' he made you clean up your mess."

Rubbing her stomach and shuddering slightly, she fixed her husband with a steely glare. "He didn't make me do anything that I didn't want to do and your driving sucks."

"Like hell it does!"

"Logan you can't drive to save your life. You've got too much of a temper."

"I ain't got a fuckin' temper!" Wolverine barked, kicking a bag off of the jetty and into the unforgiving sea. They both stood in the rain watching a piece of their matching luggage set sink without a trace. Reaching into the pocket of his leather jacket, he produced a water logged cigar that he had no hope of lighting, let alone smoking. Scowling, he began to grind his teeth as the bitter taste of realization dawned on him.

"Wasn't that your case?" Marie asked him, peering down at the spot where his faux tiger print case, with adamantium plated handle had just met its maker. "That was a present from Kurt! What are we going to tell him?"

"We've still got the rest of the damn things Marie!" Logan roared, pointing at the other seven tiger print cases, which were an assortment of sizes and colours. "We look like we've just been kicked outta' the God damn circus!"

Ignoring her husbands manly tantrum, she glanced at their luggage then at Logan. "What was in that case?" She inquired, noticing that the normally feral mutant looked as though he couldn't decide whether to cry, howl or gut her for asking such a question.

Marching away from her with his fists clenched and a face that would most likely terrify the most hardened of criminals he growled, "My cigars."

Marie couldn't help but giggle at the thought of her Logan going cold turkey for the next fourteen days."Hey! Wait for me!" She called to the sullen mutants back. "Logan, I said wait for me! Logan!? Logan!?"

0o0o0o0o0 0o0o0o0o0

"I hope adamantium doesn't rust." Rogue uttered softly to herself, the rain falling faster then ever and creating havoc for the basic drainage system.

Logan stopped in his tracks, and turned to face her with a frown."Are you tryin' to be funny?"

"No." She shot back, her lips twitching. "I just don't want to have to explain why my husband of two days is corroding at an exceptional rate." Spotting a small and unassuming hut shaped building ahead of them, she stepped passed the ill tempered and surly looking mutant. "Oh, don't be such a grumpy bastard Logan, your ass looks pretty cute in a pair of jeans two sizes too small for you."

Marie was met with a glare that had silenced a thousand and one hormonal teenage tearaways. His well known 'Don't mess with me look' only turned her onto a more sexually charged way of thinking. "You didn't notice that your jeans had shrunk, did you?"

His jaw dropped and he gazed down at his favourite pair of jeans. "Don't worry Wolvie, I'll have you free from your denim prison in no time." She winked suggestively and with her head held high, the Southerner with sass strolled in the general direction of the hut.

Wolverine was left to trail behind his wife, and the dominant side of his personality didn't give a shit. He had a perfect view of her perfectly sculptured ass hugged tightly in her own pair of jeans; and even if she called out that damn mutts name during their heated sex session earlier, Logan couldn't think of a better ass to follow.

"This place is deserted." Marie complained, eyeing the dense woodland and falling into step with him.

"What do you expect? A damn welcome committee?" He grumbled, sick to death of her whining and the weather. "It's rainin' if you ain't noticed, everyone's probably inside."

"Do you always have to be so sarcastic Logan?"

Rolling his eyes to the heavens, his lips parted once more."Do you think maybe we could argue once we get to our room? I'm tired..."

"Tired?!" She shrieked, eyeing him with contempt and throwing her hands in the air. "We had a little fun in the truck and it lasted less then three minutes. I've had more stimulation from my gynaecologist, and he's nearing sixty five, missing a finger, is extremely short sighted and bats for the other fucking team!"

Marriage suited other couples, they seemed to fall into utter married bliss and actually enjoy each others company. But not Logan and Marie, petty squabbles and bickering had become second nature to them. These past two days had been a culmination of fights, make up sex and even more fights.

"Excuse me?" Logan growled, arching an eyebrow and baring his canines.

Marie folded her arms across her chest and mockingly raised both eyebrows. "Oh, you're excused alright. I'm starting to think that this marriage was a..."

"Hello over there!"

One usually observant and seething mutant jumped as the rowdy voice pierced through the wet afternoon. The former mutant smirked at her husbands reaction. "I guess we're not as alone as we first thought." And with that, she traipsed over to the hut.

0o0o0o0o0 0o0o0o0o0

Opening the wooden door, Marie greeted the middle aged man behind the counter. She found it slightly strange that he was currently shirtless, not only did his manly pair of breasts strike her as an eyesore but it was absolutely freezing inside the hut. Surely the poor man had to be cold? His nipples were standing to attention for Christ sake.

"Ah, and you'd be the happy honeymooners?" The friendly, half naked man questioned, his face lighting up like a Christmas tree when Logan stalked in.

They both stood there blinking and lost for words, with water trickling down their bodies and creating a puddle at their feet.

Logan was the first to clear is throat and offer an answer. "Honeymooners yeah, happy no." He scoffed, leaning against the cedar panelled wall, his hands deep in his jacket pockets.

"The weather can do that to some people." Mr. Half naked sighed, handing Marie a pen and pointing to an empty page in a leather bound book. "I need you to sign your names, then I'll show you to your tent. I bet you're excited Missy, writing your new name for the first time."

"I'm ecstatic." She replied, showing no signs of being remotely excited. In-fact she appeared to be incredibly depressed over the sorry state of affairs.

Carefully scrawling her signature, Rogue returned the pen to its rightful owner and yawned. Logan was right, all this arguing was tiring. She couldn't wait to dive under the covers of her double bed, her idiotic husband could sleep elsewhere. "Wait a minute, did you say tent?"

"I sure did."

Logan chuckled as he finished scribbling his own name in the book. "This ain't exactly the five star luxury you were expectin', is it darlin'?"

Marie looked crestfallen and ignored his unhelpful comments. "But... But, a tent? Why?" She spluttered desperately needing answers. She would never understand those strange people that actually chose to sleep under a piece of flimsy material; especially when the east coast was currently experiencing the worst rainfall in decades.

"Its just the way things go here Missy. We're tent loving folk." The man replied, smiling reassuringly and closing the visitors book. "You'll learn to embrace the tent, mark my words."

She really wasn't so sure and chose to voice her tent hating suspicions. "Look Mr... Well I didn't catch your name... This looks like a lovely island and all; but its my husband you see, he rusts very easily and with the weather being..."

"I don't rust." Logan growled, ignoring her icy glare.

"Now, now, don't argue. You have plenty of time to fight like cats and dogs. You've only just gotten married, so space them out over the years." Mr. Half naked requested, shuffling out from behind the receptions counter. "That's what me and the wife did before we got ourselves a divorce. Now we're the best of friends."

"About this tent business..." Rogue stopped mid sentence and gawked at Mr. Half naked. She gawked, blinked half a dozen times and stepped closer to Logan. "You're naked." She exclaimed, studying the freckled sixteen stone wall of nakedness in front of her. "You're buck naked."

Logan didn't know where to look, so for his own safety he closed his eyes tightly and hoped that he wouldn't turn blind. _This really is turning into one hell of a vacation, _He thought to himself, his back against the wall as the great Wolverine cowered away from the naked man.

"Of course I am." Mr. Stark bollock naked stated in surprise, eyeing both the honeymooners with concern. "What else would you come to expect on a island dedicated to naturism?"

Wolverine's eyes snapped open, Marie's cheeks flushed and they both shouted, "NATURISM!?"

0o0o0o0o0 0o0o0o0o0

Laying side by side in what the naked man described as their 'cosy living courters', Logan and Marie both silently mulled over Jubilee and the Professor's questionable taste in vacation spots.

Listening to the comforting sound of the rain and turning on her side, Rogue gazed at her husband."This must have been Jubilee's idea of a joke."

"Well I was sure as hell hopin' that it weren't Xavier's idea." He replied testily, struggling to fit into his sleeping bag and failing miserably. "I'm gonna gut the little..."

"Don't start Logan."

"Start!? I ain't even started startin'." The feral mutant grumbled, unsheathing his claws and ripping the sleeping bag to shreds.

Marie sat up slowly and felt her head brush against the roof of the tent. "Do you hear that?" She asked, crawling to unzip their tent and take a peek outside.

"It sounds likes some nut job with a drill. What's the big deal?"

Cocking her head to the side, and peering over the grassy verge, Rogue quickly found the source of the sound. "There's a man with no clothes on, holding an industrial sized drill in the rain. I'd say that's a big deal Wolverine."

"You see? I was right, he is a a nut job." Logan announced, while Marie muffled her laughter with her hand. "You finished starin' yet?"

"Not quite."

"Marie."

"Shh, he's coming closer." She whispered, her eyes never leaving the short, stout man with a package that would surely have dwarfed a blue whale's. "Oh my Lord, I wish I had my camera. The girls back at home will never believe me when I tell them."

He couldn't take it any longer, they were supposedly on a fucking honeymoon and here was his girl on all fours, with her eyes glued to the guy with the donkey dick. "Hey! Will you quit it!?" He bellowed, snaking his fingers around her ankle and pulling her away from her chosen view.

"What is your problem?" Marie snarled, shoving him roughly as he zipped the tent closed and sat guarding her window to the outside. "Don't you want your wife to enjoy herself?"

"No."

Husband and wife sat opposite each other cross legged and glowering. Neither were ready to extend the olive branch and both were stubbornly set in their ways. The rain still fell all around them, as the unlikely duo of lovers exchanged insults well into the night.

0o0o0o0o0 0o0o0o0o0

Marie was extremely uncomfortable, her clothes were still wet and if truth be told; it was pissing her off. Peeling off her woollen jumper, and flinging it as far away as possible, she deliberately avoided Logan's quizzical look.

"What the hell are you doin' now?" He sighed heavily, cracking open a sleepy eye.

"I'm undressing. Go back to sleep." She ordered, cursing under her breath when she ran into difficulties removing her soggy jeans.

"Come here. I'll get them off for you."

"I bet you would you pervert." Rogue shot back, quicker then an openly insulting comedian.

"I didn't mean it like _that_." Logan countered, readying himself for yet another argument.

"Oh, that's a shame." She replied coyly, tugging at her jeans. "And there was me thinking that the mighty Wolverine was always up for a bit of fun."

He rolled onto his side, his eyes darkening while he watched her fondle her own breasts through the satin like material of her bra. Marie needed him, she was no longer in an argumentative mood and that could only mean one thing; it was time to make up.

Logan was a breast man, she had known that from day one. How could she not, with his memories still stored in her mind. The way to his heart was to put on a show, play with herself, and then offer him the goods. It worked every time and she needed him now.

"You cold darlin'?" He asked her slyly, beckoning her over.

"Yes." Rogue said passionately, removing her bra ever so slowly and depositing it on the floor.

With a half amused grin, and a raging hard on, Logan opened his arms."Then come here. I'll warm you up."

0o0o0o0o0 0o0o0o0o0

They hadn't left their tent in two days, and had thoroughly enjoyed their sexual awakening. Not only had the very happy honeymooners tried every position that they fancied, but their love and desire for each other just kept on growing.

"Mmmm." Marie shuddered as Logan ignited her sensations and stimulated her tongue magnet. He was an expert at satisfying her yearnings, and she was entering heaven for the umpteenth time that day.

"Come on darlin'." He panted, tracing the outline of her nipple with the tip of his tongue. "You're nearly there." Wolverine liked to encourage his girl when she was close to hitting the mark. He liked to think of himself as a coach in all things sexual, deviant and damn right dangerous.

Sweat was dripping off their bodies, and their pleasure receptors were off the chart. With one last meaningful thrust they groaned in ecstasy and untangled their limbs.

Wiping the sweat from his brow, Marie kissed her husband on the lips. "I love you." She whispered, trying to recapture her breath.

"More then that damn dog?" Logan responded, arching an eyebrow and brushing her chestnut coloured hair from out of her face.

"No." She replied, with a straight face, taking the opportunity to straddle him. "I love you both the same. Now show me how much you love me or Digby takes your spot in our bed."

Cupping her milky white buttocks, and flipping her over, he licked his lips knowing that he was certainly up for that challenge.

0o0o0o0o0 0o0o0o0o0

"This ain't one of your good ideas Marie." Logan groused, once again trailing behind his wife and thoroughly enjoying the view.

"When in Rome Logan, when in Rome."

"Where did you even hear that shit?"

"From the Professor." She answered, linking arms with the downcast mutant and skipping along the cobble stoned path in high spirits.

Logan glanced down at her, and shook his head."I don't think he was talking about _these_ types of situations." The Professor was not a fucking nut job as far as he knew. Although his taste in friends had a lot to be desired.

Marie pouted, and tugged at his arm."And why not?"

"Cause he ain't _that_ type of guy." He reasoned with her. "He's as normal as any other bald headed English guy."

"We have to show our faces sometime Logan."

"Why? I was happy enough in the tent with you between my thighs."

Standing on her tiptoes, she wrapped her arms around his muscular neck. "Flattery will get you everywhere." Kissing her man on the lips, their tongues met and he swept her off her bare feet.

They tasted every inch of each others mouth until Rogue hastily pulled away. "What?" Logan queried, gently placing her on her feet. "What's wrong?"

"I smell sausages!" Marie cried, her bare breasts jiggling up and down. "This naturist stuff is better then it looks." She grinned, gesturing at Logan's very naked and very sculptured body. "I'd take a sausage over your sausage any day of the week. I'm starving." And she darted away before he had a chance to even process the information, let alone form a curse riddled reply.

0o0o0o0o0 0o0o0o0o0

Marie fought her way through the sea of naked people. Well there was about twenty bare skinned individuals of all shapes and sizes and she was trying her hardest not to stare at those shapes and sizes. But it was difficult, she wasn't a prude or a pervert for that matter. It was just difficult, so very difficult.

Accidentally elbowing a man in the side, she turned around to apologize and came face to face with only the third man she had ever seen naked. This time though he was currently drill-less, and that saddened her."I see that you've made it out of your tent finally." He greeted her with an amused smile.

Blushing once again, and trying to ignore the fact that his testicles were the size of basketballs, Rogue nodded her head. "Yes, we thought we'd come and meet the other guests."

"Are you going to hold a meet and greet?" He joked, scratching his inner right thigh and sighing. "Would you look at that?" The man grumbled, pointing to a set of teeth marks with his stubby finger.

Marie looked, Marie stared and Marie blushed to the point of no return.

"Did your... Um... Uh... Your wife did she get a little over excited?" She stuttered, willing the words that were tumbling out of her mouth to stop before she keeled over with humiliation

Thankfully he laughed, he threw his head back and laughed given her a full view of his extraordinarily sized package. And then it happened, her perverted mind was racing; _Oh my goodness, I can't believe the size of that thing. It's so large, I wonder if he has to carry a permit? I wish Jubilee was here, I told her that Peter didn't have the biggest one going. I wonder how many women that penis has choked to death? If I was sitting on the jury I would sentence it to life in jail without the chance of sex. Where did I put that damn camera? Why is he still laughing? Was it something I said?_

"You are one funny girl." He chuckled, red faced and holding his stomach. "My wife won't let little Henry anywhere near her lips. I was out fishing this morning, and caught one hell of a catch. He was a frisky fella too, damn near took little Henry to the grave with him."

"Um." She really didn't know what to say. Surely the very well endowed man wasn't telling her that a fish tried to bite his best asset off. Did he usually allow fish that amount of free reign?

"I know what you're thinking."

"You do!?" Marie exclaimed, now beyond the realms of embarrassment.

"My therapist says its a common problem with men of my calibre. If our thirst isn't quenched, we go looking for it elsewhere." The man replied cheerfully. "This must be that husband of yours. Am I right?"

A hand snaked itself around her stomach and another came to rest just below her breasts. "Yeah, you're right." Logan's voice snarled startling her. She had been so engrossed in the conversation, she had forgotten all about her sausages and hadn't heard him approach. "I'm her husband. Now who the hell are you?"

Logan wasn't pleased. He had warned Marie that all this group nakedness would lead to trouble, and now he had caught some asshole making a play for his girl. Tightening his grip on his wife, his eyes bulged in surprise. This guy was seriously packing some heat, which made the situation even more of a fucking problem and Logan knew how to take care of a problem.

"Darlin?" He said, not giving the man a chance to even reply. "Go get yourself some food, you must be hungry after all that exercise."

Marie looked at Logan in suspicion as he loosened his grip and guided her gently towards the direction of the barbecue. "Aren't you coming?"

"Yeah, I just need a few words with this guy." He growled, the anger seeping into his voice.. "Go eat, then we'll head back to the tent. I've been meaning to show you a few things."

She knew an order when she heard one, and although it didn't please her in the slightest she obeyed. "It was nice talking to you." She told the man, deciding the best form of revenge was to rub salt into Logan's wounds. "And remember that there's plenty more fish in the sea. Just ask my husband here, he'll be joining you at that river bank very soon."

Wolverine couldn't make heads or tails of Marie's goodbye; but while he watched her stomp away smelling of pure rage, he knew that that ass of hers would be in their tent later today and his girl would be where she belonged, riding him into the night.

0o0o0o0o0 0o0o0o0o0

"Men!" Marie whispered harshly to herself as she stormed over to the pavilion, the barbecue in her sights. "Why are they such big headed idiots?"

_I don't know why I let him get away with pulling his macho caveman shit. But I know one things for certain that is the last time he orders me around. Ugh, if he ever catches a fish I hope it bites his dick off, that would teach him. I bet it would grow back though, I know it would, Logan would do that just to spite me. I've got a good mind to go back and kick his ass... Maybe after I eat, those sausages smell so good._

Dashing to the front of the queue, and ignoring the pointed looks, she grabbed a paper plate and held it in front of her. "Hungry, Food, Now."

The female chef grinned at her, and turned over the sizzling sausages with a barbecue fork. She carefully placed a steaming hot dog onto Marie's plate and pointed to the table beside them. "Rolls, condiments and drinks are over there. Help yourself."

Rogue gazed down at her plate and felt victimized. One small hot dog? Is that all she got? She was the female equivalent of a modern day Oliver Twist and certainly edged closer to that title when she said; "Please Miss, I want some more."

The amused woman obliged, and stacked her flimsy paper plate high. "What's made you so hungry?"

"Oh, you know. A bit of this and that." Marie would have gestured vaguely, if it hadn't have been for the plate she was struggling to hold. "My husband mainly, he's really been giving my you know what a spring clean. Sex can really take it out of you and Logan's so good at it. You should have seen the face he made yesterday when I put my lips around his..."

"Marie! Is that you!?" A lady shrieked, making Rogue drop her plate of hot dogs onto the grass in fright. "That can't be my daughter. Owen that isn't our daughter is it? She never talked with such a filthy mouth."

Marie backed away from the woman at the barbecue, turned slowly around and came face to face with the parents she hadn't seen for seven years. Her mom and dad were standing side to side, each with a look of horror painted on their faces. "Pricilla, that's our daughter and she's been corrupted by the evils of this world, there's no mistaking it."

They were having a reunion, a naked reunion on an island full of naked people. This really wasn't how Marie had dreamt of this day happening. She had envisioned hugs and tears, maybe even cries of joy and apologies. Not her standing in front of her naked parents while she attempted to shield her own nakedness.

Clasping her hands across her breasts and lady garden, Marie raised her head defiantly. "I haven't been corrupted." She announced, wishing her parents weren't so naked. Where was their dignity?

_This is worse then the time I had my first passport photo taken and I wasn't even naked for that! This naked family reunion, it's disgusting, awful, nauseating, Oh my God I think I'm going to cry! _

_I need to leave before Logan... Wait a damn minute, she's wearing my earrings!_

"You're wearing my earrings!" Rogue shouted, pointed accusingly at her mother's ear. "They're my silver cubic zirconia hoop earrings!"

"What ? These?" Her mom asked innocently, tugging her left ear. "Your Papa bought them for me."

"David bought them for me Mama." She replied, scolding herself for being so petty. Why did she care what an ex-boyfriend had bought her? She had grown so much since then, she had Logan now, they were married for Christ sake! "You know what? You can have them, I don't care anymore. But answer this one question... What the heck are you guys doing here!?"

"We were taking a break." Her father responded, fixing her with an icy stare. "Its just been unfortunate that we were placed in a tent next to a noisy couple. They haven't stopped making lewd noises from day one."

She felt the blushing begin to awaken from the tips of her toes. Her parents had been in the tent next door all along. "You had to take a break here? I mean here of all places..."

"What are you doing here Marie?" Pricilla demanded haughtily, her dark hair framing her stern features.

"I'm just taking a break." Marie muttered refusing to meet their unwavering eye contact. "All alone, without any company, I don't know anyone here at all. No sir-ree."

Logan appeared seemingly out of nowhere and slapped her on her bare behind."You ready to go back to the tent darlin'?" He questioned, glancing sparingly at her parents and feeling himself start to harden as he brushed himself against the back of Marie.

Marie gulped and silently acted non nonplussed to the erection of Logan's summer sausage. What was he thinking? She wasn't at all ashamed of him, she just didn't want her parents meeting him. She didn't even want to meet her parents, so why should anyone else want to? "Uh, this is Logan. You might have heard me talking about him earlier. He's my lover, my husband and my best friend. We have the deepest respect for each other and he knows how to please me in more ways then one."

Cocking her head to the side, she gestured to her parents. "Logan, these are my parents. Now run!"

Marie ran like she had never run before. She darted passed the naked obstacles, her hair flying madly in the breeze. Hearing her husband struggling to keep up with her, she began to slow down into a steady jog. "Will you hurry up!"

"Do you wanna try runnin' with one of these?" Logan growled, cupping his groin and narrowing his eyes.

"That's your own fault! What made you hard anyway? I was only talking to my parents!"

"I wasn't thinkin' about them Marie."

She skidded to a halt and leant against a weeping willow tree. "They won't find us here." She panted, watching him sit down and glare at his erection. "Will you stop looking at it Logan! It's not going anywhere!"

He snorted, shaking his head. "Why the fuck are we even runnin'?"

"Because I don't want my naked husband meeting my equally naked parents, while I stand there watching nakedly!" This was the worst vacation ever and it was only there first. Did that mean that they were doomed until the end of time? Would every vacation from this day forth be littered with mines? Naked mines?

"Logan?"

"Yeah?"

"Can we both promise to never ever go on a vacation again?" Marie asked him solemnly, holding out her hand and asking him to shake on it. "And as long as we both shall live, we will never set foot outside the mansion gates again without our clothes on. Deal?"

Logan thought about it for a moment, and shook her hand. "You've got yourself a deal darlin'. He said with a smirk refusing to return her hand. "Now how about you do somethin' for me before we get the hell outta here."

Pulling her roughly to him, Marie toppled onto his lap and she was just where he wanted her. After all, spending quality time with his girl helped him forget about his lack of cigars. That was how Logan would go on to explain it when both Marie and her feral Wolverine were found making love in the garden of peace and reflection and accused of destroying the sanctity of the entire island.

For the next few years they managed to avoid another dreaded vacation; until the fateful day that Jubilee mentioned a magical place where Mickey Mouse lived. For unbeknown to Marie and Logan, all the time spent in their honeymoon tent had already set the ball rolling and in a little shy of nine months, their lives would change forever.


End file.
